Apologies for the glut of pregnancy posts, but I've been keeping mum for a whole month! Do you know how hard that is for me?
I feel like I know a lot about pregnancy. After all, at 32, many of my friends are reaching the four or even five kid realm. But now I realize that you don't always hear a lot about the first trimester, because no one's "out" yet. While I've had a very easy trimester, there were sitll a lot of surprises. Here's just a few of them.
Holy Bathroom Trips, Batman! Everyone knows you have to go to the bathroom a lot in your last trimester, right? All that baby sitting on your bladder. What no one told me is that your first trimester can be just as bad. Because of heightened levels of progesterone, I had to go to the bathroom at least once an hour...if not every 30 minutes. At night, I was waking up four times. Four times! How am I supposed to grow a baby if I can't get a good night's sleep? (Some books suggest you sleep 9-10 hours a night when pregnant.) It's ridiculous. Our water bill is going to triple.
Tranquilized. OK, I knew that you got tired in your first trimester. But I didn't know it. I, who am usually energetic and love to be active, have become a total slug-a-bed (Old English term for a lazy person who stays in bed too long). I go to bed earlier at night (I'm exhausted by 8:30), I wake up later (I've been waking up at 7 or 8. It's magical.), and several times throughout the day, I feel like I've been hit by a horse tranquilizer. Luckily, I'm working at home, so I can just work laying down, which I have quite a bit. Some days, I haven't wanted to do anything other than lay on the couch all day long. Luckily, I'm getting back to my old self and getting my energy back.
Josey Grossy. I'm not Josey Grossy anymore. But I was during my first trimester. I knew that you were supposed to have morning sickeness and all kinds of digestive problems. I didn't experience any of that, but I did have one problem that made me feel like Josey Grossy: burping. I'm usually a very demure and well-mannered girl, but since I've been pregnant, I have the burps. It's awful. I don't like being Josey Grossy. But I guess it beats throwing up.
Belly Bloat. You're not supposed to show until you're four or five months, right? Well, what I didn't know is that my belly would start doing it's own thing much sooner. I was two pant sizes up (TWO!) by week 10. (At the time, I thought I was week 6 and was much more alarmed.) I nearly had to buy new pants for my work trip to Canada, as my usually baggy work pants were as full as they could be. I don't like it. Because I know it's not a baby pushing out, it just makes me feel fat. And I'm apparently very vain. Now that I'm "out," I'm less concerned that people upon seeing me are going to say, "Wow, look at Amber, she's really let herself go now that she works at home."
Hungry Hungry Hippo. I am a hungry, hungry hippo. Mike already made fun of my sudden and voracious appetite before I was pregnant, so you can just imagine now. I feel a lot like Chris Farley in his mall girls skit (see below). "LAY OFF ME, I'M STARVING." Books say that you should eat an extra 100 calories in your first trimester, which is equivalent to one glass of milk or an apple. I don't know who they're fooling. I'm a whole heck of a lot hungrier than one extra apple. I'm waking up in the middle of the night, hungry and unable to go back to sleep until I eat.
Fear and Loathing of Sweet Potatoes. OK, I did know about food aversions, but I just wanted to throw my two cents of aversion in. Before I even realized I was pregnant, the thought of sweet potatoes, or anything similar, such as pumpkins or root vegetables, could make me want to puke. Mike had bought this vile bag of healthy vegetable "potato" chips, made up of taro, sweet potato, etc. For days, I couldn't get that disgustingly haunting smell out of my head. Some days, I would randomly think of the chips and want to vomit. Even now, thinking about it and typing the words, I feel like I better change the subject pretty soon. It's kind of fun to watch yourself lose control and rationality. I know sweet potatoes aren't evil. But don't come anywhere near me with them. Subsequently, my fear and loathing of sweet potatoes has somewhat extended to french fries, which are pretty difficult to avoid around here. Erk. Just the thought of them is puketastic.