A Special Announcement With Mikey Van

Hello to all y'all people who read Amber's blog. For this very special occasion, you get a guest entry written by her highly masculine and erudite husband, Michael.

The subject of our blog today is: eugenics. You may have noticed that, although I myself am a fairly diminutive specimen of manhood, I descend from the tallest race in the world, the Dutch (note that I do, in fact, love dairy products). This gives me hope that, although I may not be the most amazing thing the world has ever seen, perhaps with a bit of help I could create it.

In that spirit, I am pleased to present, for your pleasure, the future little Van Schooneveld.

Yes, Amber and I went to the doctor recently, and we are indeed expecting. We knew what we would see when we went, although we didn't expect it to be this developed (the doctor said 12 weeks, and we thought we were only 8 weeks). In fact we were somewhat in shock. The facts admit of two explanations: One, our baby is some sort of superhuman, a whole month ahead of normal development and soon to become some sort of titan. Two, we somehow completely missed the fact that Amber was pregnant until she was two months along.

I've chosen to believe the first. And although the doctor tells me that the baby is entirely lacking in desireable features such as wings, retractable claws, and a prehensile tail, it does seem to have all the usual things people want on babies (arms, legs, head, etc).

Our little bundle of awesomeness is set to enter the world on September 30th, a day that will live in glory, or possibly infamy. Not because of the birth of our child, because of Dominique Moceanu's. It's her 30th birthday. Can you believe that? I remember when she was in the Olympics and she was this young girl and I was the same age as her. And now she's turning 30! Which means I am too! In a couple more months. After years of being the youngster in my family, I'll finally exit youth both officially (by turning 30) and symbolically (by becoming a father).

So, feel free to post your well-wishes and pray for us and little Vanny all you want. We're very grateful.

Here's what our little angel looks like now.

Thank you and goodnight.

p.s. For the nerds who want to see the raw data, even though they've probably seen it 50 times already, here's a link to a more accurate representation of our little angel.