My first blender only made it through one year of marriage. It pooped out after my protein-shake body-builder phase, in which I made daily liquid breakfasts. I soon pooped out myself and went back to Frosted Mini Wheats. Life is too short not to eat Maple and Brown Sugar Frosted Mini Wheats.
Recently my parents were given one of those Vitamix blenders that super healthy people use to blend all their greens and fish oil and whatnot together, so they gave me their old trusty blender circa 1975 that I grew up with. Looks a lot like this one, but with 10 speeds!
This blender is a friend. I remember countless chocolate milk shakes that my dad, from whom I learned my love of eating, would make for us. I made many a frappe in it, inspired by my sister Chris' daring blender creations. I even made a few protein shakes in it in my time, back when I didn't realize what protein shakes were, but thought my dad's powder that he put in milk was yummy.
Mike, upon seeing this old friend on the counter, gave a shriek. It's cousin to the very same blender that tried to eat him as a small boy, and he still has the scars on his wrist to prove it. Mike likes to parade this story about as evidence of his great intellect, even as a 5 year old, but I'll let you be the judge.
Little Michael was alone in the kitchen and wanted to make himself a blended treat. He turned on the blender, but it wasn't working. Using his supreme skills of logic, he reasoned that he should just put it together one piece at a time and try turning it on, in order to discover which part wasn't working. Brilliant. So little Michael got to the stage where he placed the blade on the motor, but before it was secured down by the carafe. The blade spun wildly off the blender and slashed his hands to ribbons. Little Michael bled pools of blood all the way across his home, looking for someone to help him.
That is why Mike doesn't like our blender. I say it shows what a fine-tuned blending machine it is. This blender is as old as I am (I think), but it's still got as much get up and go as I do. Now that I work at home, I can eat questionable lunches, like fruit smoothies. Hooray! There's no better celebration of being a woman than a fruit smoothie lunch. My current combination (based on my random pantry). Is frozen mixed berries, tangerine juice, whole-fat Greek yogurt (life is too short for fat-free dairy), and honey. It's everything I thought it could be.