A wise woman (my mother) once told me (several weeks ago), "Ammy, there are people who always seem to make the right choices. But it's not that they always make the best choice, it's that once they've made a choice, they make it the right choice."
(She didn't actually say "Ammy," but I like to picture my mother as an ol' granny from the Ozarks sometimes...(Not that you bear any resemblence to that, oh mother of mine.))
Now, I usually turn my nose up at wisdom from the hills, but this is very good advice for my life. Here is how my decisions typically play out: First I make a decision and act on it. Then I fret and hem and haw and worry that it was the wrong one, and wish for the time before I made the decision, and wish I had made the other one, and basically just make everyone (meaning my husband) and myself crazy in the process.
I have been doing this endlessly for several years now, like worrying a scab on my elbow, "Should we have moved away from Ft. Collins?" "Should I have taken this job at Compassion?" "Should we have left our old church?" "Should I have ordered that hamburger for lunch?" It's enough to make you want to slap me.
The decisions are made, and it's in the past. I can sit on the fence and harbor regrets, or I can make my choices work, choosing to live in this moment.
I can jeopardize my future and torture my present by wading my toes in the waters of the past, or I can buck up like a big girl, own my choices, and make the best of them.
Here's to big girls.