Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Please Make It Stop!

It's like Cher. It won't go away, no matter how many times it promises it will.

Let it be known: I hate ER. With more passion than I can express. It's been plaguing me ever since my college years and Thursday night TV, on whose much worthier coat-tails it annoyingly drags its long-dead corpse. (Too dramatic a sentiment? I think not.)

Every episode seeks to trump the previous: This weeks' ER is like nothing you've ever seen. You won't believe what happens when the staff has to deliver the twin babies of a homeless parapalegic psychic man who turns out to be Dr. Romano's college lover. While Dr. Carter returns to find Abby in love with another nurse.

Next week: This week, ER is the most explosive, the most unbelievable. A surgeon goes blind the exact moment he must surgically remove a bomb from a midget's stomach. While Luka falls in love with the new intern.

Next week: This is the last year of ER with the most mind-melting, the most soul-squelching, the most chilling episodes you've seen yet. A long lost beloved doctor returns for the third time since he left two years ago, and the staff must exorcise Dr. Neela when her curry lunch turns out to have contained trace elements of arsenic and aliens. And Noah Wylie returns for the last, final, ending 17 encore episodes before the end.

No! No! No! Please make it stop! I can't handle watching one more commercial for ER, let alone one more episode of the ridiculous, over-the-top drivel. Would that the hospital would have blown up already, as it has promised us to do so many times in the past.


Michael Jonathan Van Schooneveld said...

Yeah, I don't know how many times I've heard "You've never seen anything like this before!" from that show. It was a little wearing from the beginning, being a kid who grew up next to the hospital and saw a good bit of it with his doctor dad. To be honest, Scrubs is by far the more realistic show. No kidding. I think they jumped the shark long ago on this show, when they had people with bombs in their stomach (kinda like The Dark Knight) and doctors were being killed by helicopter blades. And that was about 50 seasons ago. When will it die!!

Michael Jonathan Van Schooneveld said...

It's also so true that I've been hearing about "this final season of ER" and how amazing it will be for what seems like 3 years now. It's like Ric Flair or Cher or something. They're retiring,, now.

Becky said...

Both of you.

Elizabeth Messer said...

You write the best descriptions in the entire vorld. Seriously. You should be a ...writer : )

Tara said...

Bryan wants me to let you know that he hates ER so much that he wouldn't even waste time blogging about it. In fact, he thinks he has said too much already. . . .He now is convulsing in a cold shower, huddled in a shivering mass in a corner of the tub-- his sobbs ringing throughout the house, eliciting a lonely howl from a wayward coyote. Bryan just realized that he hates Grey's Anatomy even more. . . .

Tara says: ER is lame. Grey's Anatomy is way better. They don't keep it a secret that sleeping with all of the nurses and doctors is slutty. That is the storyline. Each episode goes something like this: do brain surgery, have sex with intern, save life, have sex with another doctor, then yell at co-workers. They don't try to sugar coat it like ER does.