So, I talked about It Girls the other day, and now I want to talk about Mean Girls. But I don't mean the mean girls you think I mean.
There is this unspoken attitude in the competitive realm of womendom that it's OK to be mean to hot girls. The idea being, "She's pretty, guys like her, her life is probably made, so I can be a little snarky to her because I'm the underdog." This makes a lot of us Mean Girls.
I myself am a recovering Mean Girl. Growing up, the prettiest girl in my grade was my best friend. She was get-offered-free-stuff-all-the-time pretty. She was so pretty that one time at a carnival, the ride operator would not let us off the Tilt-a-Whirl because he was using each time around as a chance to jump out at her and scare her. (An odd and ineffective way to flirt.)
Anyway, once I was a bit older, I realized that I was sometimes mean to this friend. I treated her differently than other girls, less privileged girls. I would condescend to her and be less generous and kind than I would be with a less genetically blessed girl. Subconciously I figured she could take it, hey, the world adored her. (She also called me an ugly duckling once, that helped.) I apologized years later to her for my snarkiness.
I think this snarkiness is the insecure women's security blanket. We subtly mentally place ourselves as superior to the pretty girls because we've had to battle it through without the world throwing itself at our feet. My personal security blanket has always been my intelligence. In my mind, I used it as my steel wall against other women, "You may be pretty, but I'm smarter than you." (I told you, I'm snarky.)
I have a friend, we'll call her Sally, who is oppressed for being a hot chick. (I have advised her to write a book entitled, "Oppressed Hot Chicks." If she doesn't, I will.) Someone in Sally's life told her that she was too intimidating because of her looks, and she needed to try harder to be more approachable. This may seem like not a big deal, but it shows our unfair attitude toward pretty people. They should have to try harder to be extra friendly so us ugly ducklings don't feel so bad. This attitude rests on the myth that pretty people do in fact have it better, and therefore owe the rest of us something. But the pretty people have just as many problems and insecurities as the rest of us, sometimes more.
When I lost some weight a couple of years ago, I noticed this subtle shift in attitude toward me in some of my interactions with women. I went from the non-threatening chubby friend to the...I don't know what...The one it's OK to be occasionally snarky towards. (I have since gained some weight back so my size 4 tushy isn't quite as intimidating.) But it was odd how some women suddenly treated me as if I was one of them. One of those skinny women you can "tsk, tsk" at and be annoyed at because life must just be easy for them. I would get snarky comments about how it's just so easy for me and I can't understand. Yeah, right. They had no clue the inner turmoil I was going through to be skinny.
Point is, life isn't easy for any of us. We're all in the same old mess. Pretty women are just as insecure about who they are as everyone else. We're all dealing with the same old issues and insecurities and problems and struggles. It's just not easy no matter how you slice it.
So, in conclusion, play nice, be fair, and love one another.