Monday, September 8, 2008

And my buns? They don't feel nothin' like steel.

I've come to a very sad phase in my life: I don't know to whom I can quote Clueless anymore.

I used to make sure I was well buffered at all times by a entourage of Clueless girls such as myself. Most of the phrases we commonly used, and I still use gratuitously to this day, have their genesis in the glorious pop icon of my life: Cher. These sayings make up the fabric of my psyche. All things in life can be expressed through Clueless quotes.

Consider these examples:

  • Dee, I'm outtie=I'm leaving.
  • I'm totally buggin'=I am really bothered by this.
  • Where does she find these barneys?=She has bad taste in men.
  • We can certainly party with the Haiti-ans=I believe in immigration.
  • Wait a minute, I love Josh!=I've just had an emotional epiphany.
  • He's a disco dancing, Oscar wild readin', Streisand ticket holdin' friend of Dorothy=He's gay.
  • I had 2 bowls of Special K, a handful of popcorn, and 5 peanut butter M&Ms=I ate too much.
  • And my buns? They don't feel nothin' like steel=I haven't been keeping up with my Buns of Steel videos.
Today, my boss asked me if a green coat was her color, and, naturally, I said, "Carpe diem, OK? You look hot." But I've been getting a lot of blank stares lately when saying such things. So I must ask myself--with whom may I be my real self, and with whom must I not say such things as "I'm surfin' the crimson wave"?

It's a real concern.

(By the way, my husband just started his own blog: www.coloquats.blogspot.com)

9 comments:

T. said...

Amber--Being a fan of Clueless, I am quite taken aback for the last comment you posted regarding the crimson tide--that is none of my business. You are just trying to get a reaction from those of us who "understand!"

I am also sorry that some people don't understand your quotes. You have 2 choices. . . 1. Move on and quote more noble movies OR 2. Introduce your new people to the fantastically funny quotes from Clueless. I know which I would choose (keep in mind--my favorite movies to quote are Happy Gilmore and the Wedding Singer).

Amber said...

More noble than Clueless? Whatever!

Mike said...

It's not that sad. Roughly 87% of all conversation that goe son in our house consists of Clueless quotes. You ever see the skit on SNL with the qouting girls and the dad (some celebrity) who tells the young man to run for his life? Yeah, that's my world. Carpe Diem.

Jon The Hart said...

It took me a while of watching Scrubs to realize that Murray from Clueless was Turk. I have fond memories of Clueless, I admit. Though I don't think I've ever quoted it, I think I have the soundtrack somewhere...

I still quote Wayne's World and get odd looks from the uninitiated... everyone younger than us and older than us has progressively worse taste. I guess it's just a fact of life.

You take the good, you take the bad,
you take them both and there you have
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

There's a time you got to go and show
You're growin' now you know about
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

When the world never seems
to be livin up to your dreams
And suddenly you're finding out
the Facts of Life are all about you, you.

It takes a lot to get 'em right
When you're learning the Facts of Life. (learning the Facts of Life)
Learning the Facts of Life (learning the Facts of Life)
Learning the Facts of Life.

Becky said...

I love Clueless. Quote it with me all ya want, girl.

Sarah said...

Amber! Sad day indeed! I'll take it as a sign that we need to see each other more. But I'm with Tara - hold strong and introduce your new friends to the awesomeness that is Clueless. They need to be more culturally aware, obviously.

Jen said...

The other day at work, my manager said something to the effect of "so what you are saying is, there's a slight chance this will happen? " I quickly blurted out "SAMSONITE" and got blank stares from the 2 other people that were with me. It's sad when your timely quotes don't get appreciated! I really can't use Zoolander quotes at work, either people don't know them, or I'd be crude at work and not realize it.

I don't think my coworkers have even heard of Clueless nonetheless would appreciate the quotes - but i think i'll start using them anyway.

Amber,

Heidi Partlow said...

Hey Amber, I love Clueless and lots of other very quoteable movies. You can quote to me any time you like.

Amber said...

Thanks, Heidi, That's very good to know you're one of us!